Affirmative Psychotherapy for Gay Men

Early on, as young boys, gay men often learn to conceal who they are and what they are experiencing inside. They frequently master some art or science or skill that others will applaud. They don’t even know it, but they become masters of manipulating how others see and think of them, lest they be “found out.”

If you grew up in a situation in which you constantly had to manage the impression of others (sometimes just to survive), you had little time or energy or encouragement to get to know and love yourself.

This limitation easily leads to running from any possible rejection, pleasing others to your own detriment, failure to set boundaries for others, challenges with emotional intimacy, and a sense of not really knowing who you are.

If that’s true for you, then you probably have experienced several, if not all, of the following:

• You got married to a woman and thought everything would work out fine.
• You are in conflict with your religious upbringing.
• Family either does not know or does not accept you as yourself.
• You’ve spent so much time trying to be someone others want you to be that you do not who you really are.
• You keep being disappointed in your relationships with other gay men, and you are tired of being hurt.
• You have found that your drinking or use of drugs has gotten out of control
• Anxiety and depression pulls you down.
• You struggle with self-image, sometimes even when others are flattering.
• Sometimes your emotions get the best of you and you feel out of control.