Conflicted Marriage: From Preposterous Picture to Vibrant Vision

by Dr. Brian Hooper

Often, individuals come to marriage or relationship counseling with the desire for change in their relationship; something has gone wrong. At the same time, it is not unusual that they also have the expectation that nothing will change.  And by nothing changing, they mean their partner will not change. They will look for evidence that real change is not taking place. They become expert at noticing exactly how their partner did not perfectly attempt a new way of communicating or where they failed to perfectly engage behaviors they had promised. They minimize “what went right” and maximize “what went wrong.”